Now, my batting average is only about three-fifty regarding progeny. Multiply my offenses by about three for the girls who never bore me a bastard.So far, my careful preparations — even paranoia — had allowed me to get away with all of this. When you consider my success record, as well as the high risks, I think that careful documentation of my precautions is justified. I hope that if you are inspired to take up this exclusive sport yourself, you will also take the sort of precautions I am describing. It's not that I care about you — remember, I'm anti-social and unsentimental — it's just that I want to see you do it well "for the good of the sport."-o0o-If you're still with me, recall that I was at this moment waiting for sweet little Mary-Margaret O'Donnell, of the wondrous hair, to return from school.Realizing I had a few minutes — mind you, I had surveilled the young thing plenty over the past three months, I knew her schedule down to a cunt-hair — I decided to poke around the. " She cuffed my legs to the back legs of the vanity's chairand roped my chest tightly to the back. I might be able to reachthe knot, I thought. "Now do a good job, honey. I want you to look pretty. Remember, we've got an appointment to get your hair done thisafternoon." "But I can't!" I protested. "I don't know how!" "Come darling," she warned as she turned away. "You'vewatched me hundreds of time, and Cindy and I showed you exactlyhow it needs to be done. Do it and do it right, or else!" The moment she was out of sight, I tried the knot. It wastight, and I could get no leverage because of the angle of mywrists. I fumbled with it anyway, desperately, but to no avail. Again tears threatened me. This time I couldn't hold them off. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I'd never felt anything like that in my life. I wasterrified and helpless. She was outsmarting me at every turn. Iwas horrified - she was winning! She WAS going to be able tomake me do.
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